Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The perfect blog name

I recently learned that my gf's mother is known for scolding her daughter by saying "Don't be funny lah" so as it turns out, I chose the most apt name for this blog = )

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Darkness+Snowmobile+GF in the driver seat = Holy Shhhhh!t

As the cold weather returns I am reminded of last winter when I almost DIED. We were up at Smuggler's Notch, thanks to Meeson's awesome work perk, and after a day of snowboarding we decided to give snowmobiling a whirl. Fortunately, we lucked out and were able to snag the few remaining spots for a night-time tour...in retrospect, I guess it was unfortunate. I started in the driver seat with the gf sitting behind. Putting my ego in check, I'll admit controlling that beast of a sled was not easy.
At the halfway point the gf wanted to give it a spin and against my better judgment I agreed to put my life in her hands, the same hands that could barely grip the handle bars of the 500 lb/150 hp snowmobile. We switch seats and as I'm saying my prayers and about to grab the rear supports, she miscalculates the throttle sensitivity and we zoom directly towards the edge of the cliff before she swerves to get us back on course. I think I peed a little right then. After a little practice she starts to get the hang of it and I'm convinced I will live to see my family and friends again. We continue to cruise along with the tour group, but we're starting to fall behind. The trail is pitch dark besides the tail-light of the sled in front and we're beginning to lose sight of the pack so the gf decides to gun it to catch up. As she revs the 800cc engine, we jump from 15mph to 30mph and then all of a sudden my stomach drops as I feel myself lifted off the seat. I'm holding on for dear life, with my legs straddled, as the snowmobile is in mid-air at what seems to me a 80 degree angle. The snowmobile slams down hard and luckily my nuts break the fall.
A couple weeks ago the gf asked me if she should get her driver's license. I think this haunting near death experience answers that question.

Friday, October 22, 2010

More trouble

My gf yelled at me last night for running too much. - Pause - reread that sentence and let it sink in. Yes, you read that correctly...FOR RUNNING! I mean of all things to get in trouble for, I never thought trying to live a healthy lifestyle would be one of them. I'll be the first to admit fault when I'm guilty like the time I got drunk and tried to fight a burly bouncer, but really ended up just punching a wall. In the words of Kanye West, "If you fall on the concrete, that’s your ass fault" but to get the silent treatment for wanting to get in shape? Where's the logic there? Sometimes, I think she'd rather me be a 500 pound cow.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Another Gerrism

Here's a convo btw Camay(she was named after the soap! lol) and my gf:

GF: You free this week to study French and blink blink your iphone?
Camay: Huh?? What's blink blink?
GF: You know, bedazzle it! Cover it in rhinestones! Blink! Blink!
Camay: Ummm you mean BLING BLING?
GF: It's called blink blink no? It's so shiny it makes you blink.

All silliness aside, you have to admit it kind of makes sense.

Monday, September 20, 2010

OMG soooo embarrassing ...

While eating dim sum at Jing Fong we noticed there was a private party going on to celebrate a centenarian's birthday. There was a giant sign with some Chinese writing which neither of us could read, but we couldn't miss the "103" written in large print. Between my bites of har gow and siu mai and her chewing of rubbery chicken feet, we marveled about what it would be like to live for over a century. We wondered what condition the 103 year old was in, figuring that she was probably wheelchair bound and senile. After the meal, my gf's curiosity lead her to walk pass the wooden dividers separating the private celebration with the general dining hall. She stood off to the side, taking in the grand festivities. After 5 minutes of waiting for her by the exit, I finally walked over to her to see what was so fascinating. That's when the centenarian's daughter walked over to talk to us and invite us in to get a closer view of her beautiful mother, who was sitting at the center table chatting happily with her family and friends. She looked amazingly youthful! As if that wasn't embarrassing enough, she then proceeded to hand us 2 slices of birthday cake. By then my blushing gf couldn't wait to escape towards the exit let alone nibble on some undeserved cake, I however honored the centenarian by gobbling up the cake in a few bites = )

Thursday, September 16, 2010


With rental shoes, gf bowls in the 80's and 90's.
With $140 professional bowling shoes, gf bowls a 61 during an important match.

It goes without saying but since this is a blog; I told you so.

Monday, August 30, 2010

That's genius!

Move over brilliant minds of this world and make room for my gf. The other day while getting ready to go out she accidentally, ummm, I mean miraculously discovered a cure to negate ALL bad smells. You're strolling through Chinatown when BAM! stinky fish odor hits your olfactory senses. You're running the lower loop in central park and WOAH! what's that shit smell..ahhh, horse shit! Buuu Buu BUUUUUUUU! Your bf just farted in bed and now you're trapped in a dutch oven. All these foul situations can be avoided with this ingenious idea. And without further ado...........spray perfume up your nose rather than on your body! lol you had to be there, it was too cute!

Friday, August 27, 2010


I love when my gf finds interest in my hobbies, but there's this one issue that annoys me when it comes to introducing her to my favorite pastimes. For instance, two years ago I took my gf snowboarding for her 1st time. It took her the whole winter season to get the hang of it and she is definitely still considered a beginner, yet she goes out and splurges on a brand-spanking-new, sweet BURTON board. Here I am, after 5 seasons still riding the same entry-level doodoo board. I'm doing 50/50 boardslides and catching air in the terrain park on a shitty, scratched up board while she struggles just to stand up on some top of the line pro board.
I always tell her you have to earn the right to buy the best equipment and that the best equipment isn't going to help make a significant improvement for any sport unless you practice. I guess all this wisdom went in one ear and out the other for her, since she just bought a pair of $140 bowling shoes after 1 practice session. I might be alone in this particular case since I'm sure her Strikeforce teammates are going to support her decision. They'd say: "Relax man, we'll take any advantage we can get."

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Sob Sob

My gf yelled at me for renting, Hachi: A Dog's Tale, because she couldn't stop crying while watching the movie. It's about a very loyal dog that greets his master everyday at the train station. You should watch it, unless you have an emotional gf too!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Gone Fishing

Took the gf fishing for her first time in Long Island. On the 1st of many fishing spots, when the captain said "lines up" my gf discovered she had caught a little 10" fluke. She hooked a fish on her 1st try without even knowing it. That's some serious beginner's luck if you ask me.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Winter Olympics

Lately, we've been watching the Winter Olympic games on TV and for some reason my gf always feels the need to add some sort of commentary on the respective performances as if she were one of the judges. For instance, with the pairs and individual figure skating program she will constantly declare her own scores even though she can't differentiate a triple axel from a triple salchow. Her technical analysis of each performance is summarized by how many times the skater falls; "Oh no, that wasn't good, he fell on the jump. He won't get 1st place." I'm convinced her scores are based on the skater's attire anyway.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

It's Magic


I just pulled this "make a match stick stand up on its head" magic trick on my gf. She spent a good 5 minutes attempting to imitate my standing match stick. She eventually got frustrated and gave up without learning how I was able to do it. I wish I could see her face when she reads this blog entry. Love you sweetie.