Monday, August 31, 2009

de·ceive: to give a false impression

For our 1st date I had planned to take her to dinner at a Japanese restaurant. I figured the customary dinner date route would be the best approach to get to know one another. On the day of our date, she offered the idea of going running in central park prior to dinner. I was a bit taken aback by the suggestion of such an unusual 1st date activity, but being a semi-avid runner I was quite enthused. I conjured up images of those good looking, athletic couples that you always see running together. I thought to myself, that could be us! The run goes well as does dinner and our 1st date turns into our 2nd and 3rd...and things progress nicely except for one thing. You guessed it..the idea of going running together never became a mainstay of our relationship. I guess that's what anniversaries are for.

Sweetie, see you in central year.

Oh, I didn't tell you?

me: Sweetie, I'm playing golf with my mom tomorrow. I'm so excited!
gf: You can't! We're going to my uncle's wife's brother's daughter's sweet 16 party in NJ.
me: Huh?! What?! Why didn't you tell me earlier???
gf: Oh, I didn't tell you? Oops, keke
me: Seriously?? Whose birthday? I don't want to go.
gf: You have to. We need you to drive.

It's true everyone is good at something. I guess my forte is driving/parallel parking.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Whose fault is it anyway?

Email from my gf:
Honey, I left my cellphone at home. Why didn't you put my cellphone in my purse this morning??? I hate you : P

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Pinkberry is dangerous

For the majority of 2008 my gf had a seriously pinkberry addiction. The need for a frozen yogurt fix could occur at anytime, whether it was after a 5 course meal or prior to eating breakfast. So one day she was jonesing for some pinkberry aka crackberry so we make our way to the nearby pinkberry, conveniently located 5 blocks away. She orders a medium original (the best flavor in my opinion) with diced strawberries, mangoes, and captain crunch. We make our way home eating and walking simultaneously. Unfortunately, unlike most new yorkers, eating and walking at the same time is a skill that my gf has not yet mastered. We make it 4 blocks before she crashes into a horizontal scaffolding bar all because she was too focused on devouring her frozen yogurt treat. I guess pinkberry is a dish best served while seated.

Not so lucky

We run out the door and scurry to the nearest lotto retailer to purchase our tickets for the $252,000,000 mega jackpot. The clerk looks at us quizzically and asks us our age, not quite sure if we are older than 18 yrs old, lol. We buy 20 quick picks and then jog back home, all the while pondering what we would buy if we won; A loft in Paris, a house in Australia, vacations in Asia...We arrive home, throw our sweaty running clothes in the wash, quickly shower and get ready to leave for dinner reservations. On the drive to the restaurant she realizes she might have left the $20 worth of lotto tickets in her running shorts, which were swirling around in the washing machine. Alas, our potential claim to $252 million became a worthless lump of wet pulp. Some people just shouldn't play the lotto.