Date Night

I love Friday's because it means it's date night..I mean dateline date night! Are there other couples out there that enjoy investigative programming as much as we do?

Taste in Movies

I'll admit my gf has great taste in fashion, but when it comes to movies her taste would be equivalent to wearing socks with sandals, uggs with a denim skirt, a sheer white dress with a black bra...you get the idea. Anytime I suggest a movie night, her preference is determined by the following rules: 1) Any cartoon/animated movies playing? 2) If not, then whatever brainless, high school setting movie is playing ie; Easy A. Since I also occasionally enjoy a pixar or dreamworks animation, I used to give her the benefit of the doubt regarding what movies to watch. But after she failed my little test last week I am assured that her taste in movies is beyond repair. One of the worst movies ever happened to be playing on tv, so I turned it on and waited for her to make me change the channel. We ended up watching WATERWORLD in its entirety. No further questions your honor, case closed.

Ever been banned from a restaurant?

The _____ is shining. Wrong ____. If you fill in the blanks you get the name of the restaurant in flushing that my gf and I are barred from patronizing. It all started innocently enough with a craving for some bubble tea. We walked into this fine establishment, known for their snacks and frothy drinks, and ordered a large bubble tea. As I waited for the order my gf excused herself to use the restroom. 5 minutes later my drink is ready but no sight of the gf. I wait another 10 minutes and start to wonder if she's fallen and can't get up. I figured maybe I should call her and dig into my pocket for my phone. As I am about to call, I see her speed walking towards me, her eyes nervously darting left to right. She lunges for the exit and whispers "we have to go NOW." I follow her out quietly and ponder what the heck is going on. Yes ladies and gentlemen, my gf bombed the toilet, porcelain volcanic eruption and all. Man, they make the best bubble teas too.

Island Living

My gf only lives on islands!!! Singapore, Australia, and Manhattan. Maybe she is some human subspecies island creature.

The perfect blog name

I recently learned that my gf's mother is known for scolding her daughter by saying "Don't be funny lah" so as it turns out, I chose the most apt name for this blog = )

Darkness+Snowmobile+GF in the driver seat = Holy Shhhhh!t

As the cold weather returns I am reminded of last winter when I almost DIED. We were up at Smuggler's Notch, thanks to Meeson's awesome work perk, and after a day of snowboarding we decided to give snowmobiling a whirl. Fortunately, we lucked out and were able to snag the few remaining spots for a night-time tour...in retrospect, I guess it was unfortunate. I started in the driver seat with the gf sitting behind. Putting my ego in check, I'll admit controlling that beast of a sled was not easy.
At the halfway point the gf wanted to give it a spin and against my better judgment I agreed to put my life in her hands, the same hands that could barely grip the handle bars of the 500 lb/150 hp snowmobile. We switch seats and as I'm saying my prayers and about to grab the rear supports, she miscalculates the throttle sensitivity and we zoom directly towards the edge of the cliff before she swerves to get us back on course. I think I peed a little right then. After a little practice she starts to get the hang of it and I'm convinced I will live to see my family and friends again. We continue to cruise along with the tour group, but we're starting to fall behind. The trail is pitch dark besides the tail-light of the sled in front and we're beginning to lose sight of the pack so the gf decides to gun it to catch up. As she revs the 800cc engine, we jump from 15mph to 30mph and then all of a sudden my stomach drops as I feel myself lifted off the seat. I'm holding on for dear life, with my legs straddled, as the snowmobile is in mid-air at what seems to me a 80 degree angle. The snowmobile slams down hard and luckily my nuts break the fall.
A couple weeks ago the gf asked me if she should get her driver's license. I think this haunting near death experience answers that question.

More trouble

My gf yelled at me last night for running too much. - Pause - reread that sentence and let it sink in. Yes, you read that correctly...FOR RUNNING! I mean of all things to get in trouble for, I never thought trying to live a healthy lifestyle would be one of them. I'll be the first to admit fault when I'm guilty like the time I got drunk and tried to fight a burly bouncer, but really ended up just punching a wall. In the words of Kanye West, "If you fall on the concrete, that’s your ass fault" but to get the silent treatment for wanting to get in shape? Where's the logic there? Sometimes, I think she'd rather me be a 500 pound cow.