Dedication

I've never seen my wife so dedicated to something before. It's really amazing to watch her hawk-like focus while she's working. She'll literally sit in one position and spend hours on this one task. It's as if she trying to become the best in the world at catching Pokemon. FML.

Hiiii I'm still alive, my wife didn't kill me yet.

Hi guys! I know it's been awhile since I've posted about my funny girlfriend, who is now my funny wife. We actually had a beautiful wedding ceremony back in April. I left the wedding planning to her and as expected she didn't disappoint...with making it the most complicated event ever. I did agree to having it in Thailand but I had no idea it would take nearly every possible mode of transportation to get to the resort she booked. It required taking a plane, taxi, speedboat and golf cart to finally arrive at our hotel room.
Despite all the hassle it turned out to be an amazing experience that we got to share with our family and friends. Now let me tell you about how the whole thing almost didn't happen because she wanted to go to the night market the night before our wedding even though our wedding coordinator hadn't even had a chance to speak with us in person yet.

Snowpocalypse

NYC is facing an impending blizzard that is predicted to bring record amounts of snowfall. While most New Yorkers are freaking out and stockpiling weeks worth of non-perishable food my wife is stocking up on cheese and potato chips! I'm glued to the TV listening to any breaking news on the weather and she keeps nagging me about getting the snow tubes ready so we can go sledding. Talk about getting your priorities in order!

The Big Day

I apologize to my dear readers for the lack of updates recently. If you haven't heard the big news already, my funny girlfriend is now my...funny WIFE! I know right? You can't believe it either. After putting up with so much of her craziness I married her anyway. It's really surprising to me too as I never thought I would get married but after being together for 6 years I knew she was the one for me. To be honest, I didn't think I was ready for marriage but sometimes a near-death experience puts everything into perspective. Right at that instant your life just flashes before you and you come to the realization that life is short and there's so much more that you want to accomplish. It happened while we were driving back from Vermont during a bad snow storm this past winter. It was nearly 1am and the snow had already accumulated a good 5 inches on the slippery road. I kept squinting my eyes to keep them focused on the now barely visible line dividing the twisting country road. My gf sat quietly in the passenger seat. Out of nowhere she blurts out "marry me or I'll kill you." There was something so compelling in that statement that we got hitched not long after that night.

Diamonds are forever

I noticed that diamond engagement rings have been on my gf's mind lately. I'm sure of this because I have a very keen sense of observation. For instance, she'll subtly leave the web browser open to the bluenile.com engagement ring page or she'll tell me she's going to Tiffany & Co. to look at diamond rings with her friend. She even told me she would give me a 1/4 carat "discount" from the carat size she REALLY wants. Now if that's not true love I don't know what is! Here's a little secret for all the fellas in a similar position: Every time your gf brings up the diamond engagement ring topic just say "I'm going to Jared's." It works every time!

Perv

My gf recently started watching this show on Showtime called Masters of Sex. She forced me to watch an episode with her and to summarize, it's pretty much a Pervert's dream. The show is based around a sex doctor's study of the female orgasm. So watching the show pretty much equates to watching people fornicate and play with themselves. I thought guys were perverted. At least we watch our porn in privacy!

Top Quotes

Here are some of my gf's top quotes: "The frig is so empty, it's making me nervous" "Honnnnneeeey! Cuddle me NOW!!" "Hoonneeey, toilet roll"