My Funny Girlfriend

Holidays

2012-01-04T12:53:00.000-08:00

The holiday season is upon us once again and the customary holiday traditions like frolicking in the snow, gift exchanges, and nonstop feasting are in full swing. Personally, I think it's important to look beyond the material items and really focus on the most important thing in your life, your loved ones. For the 2 weeks leading up to Christmas, I've been sentimental about this very special girl in my life. After a long day of work I would race home so that I could see her beautiful face. She even takes priority over going for a run! Every time I see her smiling it just melts my heart.

Here she is...isn't she just adorable. This is Gabi,my gf's neice.

Oops almost forgot, you're beautiful too sweetie.

Busted

2011-12-30T14:17:00.000-08:00

My gf found a Christmas card in the trash, took a picture of it and sent it to me. She texted "who's Shelly and what did you do?" Shelly is Sheldon, my boss. In retrospect, maybe I should have played along to punish her for going through the garbage like a nyc rat.

Babies

2011-10-28T11:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, my gf and I experienced changing a soiled diaper for the 1st time. It was both a humorous and dramatic scene as we frantically searched for a new diaper, argued over who would toss the poop filled diaper, and debated over how much baby powder to use. We eventually accomplished the task at hand, but it would have been much less stressful if my gf wasn't screaming the whole time as if the poop-filled diaper was a ticking time bomb that could explode at any second.

Doggy obsessed

2011-10-11T14:05:00.000-07:00

My gf spends approximately 840 minutes a week looking at pictures of dogs online. That works out to 2 hours everyday or nearly 10% of her day!

Daisy

2011-10-03T12:19:00.000-07:00

While I was away in Vegas for a weekend my gf randomly decided to foster a dog. She saved an 18 month old beagle mix, named Daisy, from being put to sleep. My gf agreed to foster Daisy until the shelter found a permanent home for her. Daisy turned out to be such a cute and well behaved dog that we instantly became attached to her. The shelter was able to find someone to adopt Daisy rather quickly so we only fostered her for 10 days. As it turns out, my gf was away that weekend when the shelter came to transfer Daisy to her new country home in Pennsylvania, so when she returned home Daisy was already gone. Now every time we pass by a cute dog or see a picture of a puppy online, my gf will cry out "You gave Daisy away!! How could you??" As I've discovered over the years, the best response is to just hug her and whisper "I know, I know, it's okay."

PB&J

2011-08-23T13:48:00.001-07:00

I made my gf a heart shaped PB&J sandwich for breakfast by cutting off the corners of the bread and she got angry because she thought that I had given her a half-eaten sandwich!

Date Night

2011-05-14T20:54:00.000-07:00

I love Friday's because it means it's date night..I mean dateline date night! Are there other couples out there that enjoy investigative programming as much as we do?

Taste in Movies

2011-05-12T11:10:00.000-07:00

I'll admit my gf has great taste in fashion, but when it comes to movies her taste would be equivalent to wearing socks with sandals, uggs with a denim skirt, a sheer white dress with a black bra...you get the idea. Anytime I suggest a movie night, her preference is determined by the following rules: 1) Any cartoon/animated movies playing? 2) If not, then whatever brainless, high school setting movie is playing ie; Easy A. Since I also occasionally enjoy a pixar or dreamworks animation, I used to give her the benefit of the doubt regarding what movies to watch. But after she failed my little test last week I am assured that her taste in movies is beyond repair. One of the worst movies ever happened to be playing on tv, so I turned it on and waited for her to make me change the channel. We ended up watching WATERWORLD in its entirety. No further questions your honor, case closed.

Ever been banned from a restaurant?

2011-04-25T11:14:00.000-07:00

The _____ is shining. Wrong ____. If you fill in the blanks you get the name of the restaurant in flushing that my gf and I are barred from patronizing. It all started innocently enough with a craving for some bubble tea. We walked into this fine establishment, known for their snacks and frothy drinks, and ordered a large bubble tea. As I waited for the order my gf excused herself to use the restroom. 5 minutes later my drink is ready but no sight of the gf. I wait another 10 minutes and start to wonder if she's fallen and can't get up. I figured maybe I should call her and dig into my pocket for my phone. As I am about to call, I see her speed walking towards me, her eyes nervously darting left to right. She lunges for the exit and whispers "we have to go NOW." I follow her out quietly and ponder what the heck is going on. Yes ladies and gentlemen, my gf bombed the toilet, porcelain volcanic eruption and all. Man, they make the best bubble teas too.

Island Living

2011-01-18T11:22:00.001-08:00

My gf only lives on islands!!! Singapore, Australia, and Manhattan. Maybe she is some human subspecies island creature.

The perfect blog name

2010-12-07T07:01:00.000-08:00

I recently learned that my gf's mother is known for scolding her daughter by saying "Don't be funny lah" so as it turns out, I chose the most apt name for this blog = )

Darkness+Snowmobile+GF in the driver seat = Holy Shhhhh!t

2010-11-09T07:54:00.000-08:00

As the cold weather returns I am reminded of last winter when I almost DIED. We were up at Smuggler's Notch, thanks to Meeson's awesome work perk, and after a day of snowboarding we decided to give snowmobiling a whirl. Fortunately, we lucked out and were able to snag the few remaining spots for a night-time tour...in retrospect, I guess it was unfortunate. I started in the driver seat with the gf sitting behind. Putting my ego in check, I'll admit controlling that beast of a sled was not easy.
At the halfway point the gf wanted to give it a spin and against my better judgment I agreed to put my life in her hands, the same hands that could barely grip the handle bars of the 500 lb/150 hp snowmobile. We switch seats and as I'm saying my prayers and about to grab the rear supports, she miscalculates the throttle sensitivity and we zoom directly towards the edge of the cliff before she swerves to get us back on course. I think I peed a little right then. After a little practice she starts to get the hang of it and I'm convinced I will live to see my family and friends again. We continue to cruise along with the tour group, but we're starting to fall behind. The trail is pitch dark besides the tail-light of the sled in front and we're beginning to lose sight of the pack so the gf decides to gun it to catch up. As she revs the 800cc engine, we jump from 15mph to 30mph and then all of a sudden my stomach drops as I feel myself lifted off the seat. I'm holding on for dear life, with my legs straddled, as the snowmobile is in mid-air at what seems to me a 80 degree angle. The snowmobile slams down hard and luckily my nuts break the fall.
A couple weeks ago the gf asked me if she should get her driver's license. I think this haunting near death experience answers that question.

More trouble

2010-10-22T11:36:00.000-07:00

My gf yelled at me last night for running too much. - Pause - reread that sentence and let it sink in. Yes, you read that correctly...FOR RUNNING! I mean of all things to get in trouble for, I never thought trying to live a healthy lifestyle would be one of them. I'll be the first to admit fault when I'm guilty like the time I got drunk and tried to fight a burly bouncer, but really ended up just punching a wall. In the words of Kanye West, "If you fall on the concrete, that’s your ass fault" but to get the silent treatment for wanting to get in shape? Where's the logic there? Sometimes, I think she'd rather me be a 500 pound cow.

Another Gerrism

2010-10-18T07:07:00.000-07:00

Here's a convo btw Camay(she was named after the soap! lol) and my gf:

GF: You free this week to study French and blink blink your iphone?
Camay: Huh?? What's blink blink?
GF: You know, bedazzle it! Cover it in rhinestones! Blink! Blink!
Camay: Ummm you mean BLING BLING?
GF: It's called blink blink no? It's so shiny it makes you blink.

All silliness aside, you have to admit it kind of makes sense.

OMG soooo embarrassing ...

2010-09-20T12:48:00.000-07:00

While eating dim sum at Jing Fong we noticed there was a private party going on to celebrate a centenarian's birthday. There was a giant sign with some Chinese writing which neither of us could read, but we couldn't miss the "103" written in large print. Between my bites of har gow and siu mai and her chewing of rubbery chicken feet, we marveled about what it would be like to live for over a century. We wondered what condition the 103 year old was in, figuring that she was probably wheelchair bound and senile. After the meal, my gf's curiosity lead her to walk pass the wooden dividers separating the private celebration with the general dining hall. She stood off to the side, taking in the grand festivities. After 5 minutes of waiting for her by the exit, I finally walked over to her to see what was so fascinating. That's when the centenarian's daughter walked over to talk to us and invite us in to get a closer view of her beautiful mother, who was sitting at the center table chatting happily with her family and friends. She looked amazingly youthful! As if that wasn't embarrassing enough, she then proceeded to hand us 2 slices of birthday cake. By then my blushing gf couldn't wait to escape towards the exit let alone nibble on some undeserved cake, I however honored the centenarian by gobbling up the cake in a few bites = )

Update

2010-09-16T11:58:00.000-07:00

With rental shoes, gf bowls in the 80's and 90's.
With $140 professional bowling shoes, gf bowls a 61 during an important match.

It goes without saying but since this is a blog; I told you so.

That's genius!

2010-08-30T12:44:00.001-07:00

Move over brilliant minds of this world and make room for my gf. The other day while getting ready to go out she accidentally, ummm, I mean miraculously discovered a cure to negate ALL bad smells. You're strolling through Chinatown when BAM! stinky fish odor hits your olfactory senses. You're running the lower loop in central park and WOAH! what's that shit smell..ahhh, horse shit! Buuu Buu BUUUUUUUU! Your bf just farted in bed and now you're trapped in a dutch oven. All these foul situations can be avoided with this ingenious idea. And without further ado...........spray perfume up your nose rather than on your body! lol you had to be there, it was too cute!

Hobbies

2010-08-27T09:41:00.000-07:00

I love when my gf finds interest in my hobbies, but there's this one issue that annoys me when it comes to introducing her to my favorite pastimes. For instance, two years ago I took my gf snowboarding for her 1st time. It took her the whole winter season to get the hang of it and she is definitely still considered a beginner, yet she goes out and splurges on a brand-spanking-new, sweet BURTON board. Here I am, after 5 seasons still riding the same entry-level doodoo board. I'm doing 50/50 boardslides and catching air in the terrain park on a shitty, scratched up board while she struggles just to stand up on some top of the line pro board.
I always tell her you have to earn the right to buy the best equipment and that the best equipment isn't going to help make a significant improvement for any sport unless you practice. I guess all this wisdom went in one ear and out the other for her, since she just bought a pair of $140 bowling shoes after 1 practice session. I might be alone in this particular case since I'm sure her Strikeforce teammates are going to support her decision. They'd say: "Relax man, we'll take any advantage we can get."

Sob Sob

2010-08-19T11:59:00.000-07:00

My gf yelled at me for renting, Hachi: A Dog's Tale, because she couldn't stop crying while watching the movie. It's about a very loyal dog that greets his master everyday at the train station. You should watch it, unless you have an emotional gf too!

Gone Fishing

2010-05-24T11:42:00.000-07:00

Took the gf fishing for her first time in Long Island. On the 1st of many fishing spots, when the captain said "lines up" my gf discovered she had caught a little 10" fluke. She hooked a fish on her 1st try without even knowing it. That's some serious beginner's luck if you ask me.

Winter Olympics

2010-02-17T07:58:00.000-08:00

Lately, we've been watching the Winter Olympic games on TV and for some reason my gf always feels the need to add some sort of commentary on the respective performances as if she were one of the judges. For instance, with the pairs and individual figure skating program she will constantly declare her own scores even though she can't differentiate a triple axel from a triple salchow. Her technical analysis of each performance is summarized by how many times the skater falls; "Oh no, that wasn't good, he fell on the jump. He won't get 1st place." I'm convinced her scores are based on the skater's attire anyway.

It's Magic

2010-01-05T19:33:00.000-08:00

http://www.wonderhowto.com/how-to/video/how-to-make-a-matchstick-stand-up-on-its-head-271250/

I just pulled this "make a match stick stand up on its head" magic trick on my gf. She spent a good 5 minutes attempting to imitate my standing match stick. She eventually got frustrated and gave up without learning how I was able to do it. I wish I could see her face when she reads this blog entry. Love you sweetie.

iphone

2009-12-16T09:18:00.000-08:00

I spent the last 2 weeks debating on which cell phone I should upgrade to and my gf, a devout Apple consumer, spent 2 weeks trying to convince me to get an iphone. Having been a long time Motorola user I was inclined to continue the trend and buy the Motorola Droid. My gf's persistent demeanor had other plans however. She shot down my selection of smart phone preferences, calling them iphone imitator. Exhausted from her consistent pressure, I finally relented and got the 3Gs. You'd think she would be proud of herself for having converted me to an Apple user, or even excited for me but nay. Do you smell that...smells like jealousy.

Large Denominations

2009-12-08T10:21:00.000-08:00

You know that age old excuse people use when they want their friend to pay for them. I'm sure you've probably tried using it yourself a couple times. For example, buying a pack of gum at the news stand you might slyly ask your friend "Can you get this for me, it's only $1.50 and I don't want to break my hundred dollar bill." This trick might work a few times on the same friend, but eventually they will catch on after the small purchases start adding up. The trick completely failed however, when my gf tried using it on me at the grocery store by saying "I don't want to break this $20 bill." Nice try Sweetie! Muah.

Hypocrite

2009-12-04T11:23:00.000-08:00

Back in March I decided to buy a Xootr MG kick scooter after researching about efficient and convenient alternative modes of transportation. When I brought the scooter home and proudly showed off my new purchase to my gf she laughed in my face and reprimanded me for acting like a child. I tried explaining to her that the Xootr MG was no ordinary kid's scooter, but rather what TIME magazine calls "the Rolls Royce of scooters." As usual my argument was rebuffed and my gf continued to mock me for the next few days. Little did I know, my scooter would soon become shared property as my gf asked to ride it whenever we went grocery shopping or walked to the car. Before I knew it she was monopolizing my scooter, which she had labeled as a "kid's toy." While outside together, the only time I was allowed to utilize it was with her clinging onto my back while riding tandem. Tandem meaning, her standing directly behind me with me pushing a combined weight of 280 lbs...I thought I was going to die on some of the uphill streets.

Maybe it was a blessing in disguise that my scooter was stolen.

Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T10:58:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of Thanksgiving I wanted to take a moment to write something nice about my gf. I think she deserves a break from all the teasing about her funny characteristics, which make her so unique and lovable. So here goes nothing...Hmmm, ummm...just a minute...let me think now...there must be something...
Just kidding sweetie, you can lower your arms from that attack position now. This Thanksgiving I am thankful for having a sweet and loving gf who I enjoy spending everyday with. You've brought much laughter and joy into my life this past year and I am grateful to have you by my side. Muah!

We'll return to your regular schedule programming after the holidays.

Ordering epic fail

2009-11-10T13:39:00.000-08:00

Ordering at French restaurants can cause quite the dilemma considering the subtleties of pronouncing French dishes. I'm sure there are many out there, myself included, that would have trouble pronouncing coq au vin: COKE oh-VANH or Duck a l'orange: DUCK ah-lo-RAHNGE or Steak au poivre: STAKE oh PWAHV. Most diners might butcher the pronuncation, but for the most part I'm certain the waiter would be able to get your order correct without asking for clarification. Recently my dear dear gf managed to order a completely different dish than what was on the menu at Epices, which isn't a French restaurant btw. "I'll have the Falafel [fuh-lah-fuhl] " she says to the waiter...

You had to be there.

BAMBI

2009-11-06T12:03:00.000-08:00

Being a dog lover, it didn't take much persuading from my gf to convince me to have her dog shipped to NY from Singapore. What she forgot to mention was that her dog is actually a killer attack dog that enjoys biting at people's pant legs and challenging other dogs 20x his size. I love you Bambi!

Plastic

2009-10-23T13:49:00.000-07:00

My gf recently signed up for a credit/debit card with the intention of building up her credit rating. Her plan seems to have back fired as she becomes more and more tangled in the web of online shopping. Every week some random products arrive in the mail. Recent purchases include a waffle/panini maker, a scarf with pockets, an assortment of lotions and facial creams, and a pink sheer tank top(despite the summer being over). This new addiction is on top of the apparel sample sale addiction she already has; at least they only accept cash.

Don't forget the lyrics

2009-10-19T10:55:00.000-07:00

My gf isn't a big fan of pop music so it's understandable when she doesn't recognize the artist whose song is playing on the radio, but recently when I discovered she had mistaken the lyrics to Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" song I couldn't help but divulge her version to her friends, whom proceeded to erupt in sidesplitting laughter.

Her version:
I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me
Pava-pavarotti
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be your
Pava-pavarotti

Maybe Lady Gaga is a huge opera fanatic???

Pack leader

2009-10-09T07:31:00.000-07:00

My gf thinks I don't act as the pack leader for our dog because I don't always correct him if he tugs on the leash while on walks and since I rather not be seen in public carrying a water gun, which also doubles as a weapon of last resort to correct the dog's misbehavior. The fact is that I've improved as a dominant pack leader over time and the dog is definitely more trustworthy of me. All the while, my gf still remains a pushover as evidenced when I awake with the dog snuggled up, under the covers, by our feet despite the fact that we agreed not to let him sleep on the bed. Keep in mind he's a chihuahua so you can rule out the theory that he jumped on the bed while we were asleep.

Cruel and unusual punishment

2009-10-05T11:28:00.000-07:00

Dear ASPCA,

Is it considered animal cruelty if your gf offers her bare feet to the dog and he licks it over and over for 5 minutes? Plus, when you discover this gross encounter and tell her to stop, she claims "he likes it, see."

Say apologize!

2009-10-02T08:16:00.000-07:00

When my gf and I get into a fight it's pretty hard for us to stay mad at each other because she'll usually say something silly and we'll both start cracking up. Case in point, the other day we started arguing about something I did or didn't do, I can't recall exactly what it was but she was pretty pissed at me. Towards the end of our little spat she demands "say apologize." Despite having learned from past experience that I have a better chance at winning the lottery than an argument with the gf, I can't resist digging myself into a deeper hole and mutter "apologize."
Not surprisingly, punches ensue...I guess I'm a masochist : )

The truth is out!!!

2009-09-30T09:37:00.000-07:00

Question #2 from this Newsweek quiz about women and sex ask:

What's more likely to make a women who is interested in you sexually aroused?

a) taking her for a quiet walk in the park
b) drawing her a nice bubble bath
c) going for a run together
d) feeding her chocolate

Answer: (c) exercise jump-starts sexual arousal in women.

OMG, that's why my gf asked me to go running together on our 1st date.
I think I was seduced : /

Help!

2009-09-22T13:37:00.000-07:00

Loyal readers, I am calling on your help. My gf has contracted some type of medical condition that I haven't been able to diagnose. If you are a doctor or have come across the following symptoms please contact me asap. Here are her symptoms:
-extremely gassy
-enjoys hitting me
-always wakes up late for work
-shopaholic
-likes to kiss me after chewing Japanese dried squid snacks

Thank you in advance for any assistance you can provide.

Dessert Heaven...NOT!!!

2009-09-18T08:21:00.000-07:00

It's a well known fact that guys occasionally give their significant others gifts that they really want for themselves. Prime examples include big screen TVs or stainless steel BBQ grills. Now unless your gf lives under a rock, she's obviously going to point out your ulterior motive and demand another gift, probably something from Tiffany as punishment. When it comes to presents for the gf, rarely do guys get to have one's cake and eat it too. As luck would have it, when my gf requested a KitchenAid stand mixer for her birthday it was seemingly a win-win situation for me. Given that she has an account on allrecipes.com, where users share recipes and post pictures of their cooking, and her inclination for baking sweets I figured my sweet tooth would be satisfied with an abundance of chocolate chip cookies, frosted cupcakes, triple chocolate mousse cakes, and oreo-crumb cheesecakes. With the assistance of a high-end, 10 speed, 120 volt beauty of a mixer, who wouldn't take advantage and churn out desserts by the boatload. As it turns out, the stand mixer has sat idle on the kitchen counter for the majority of its life and my sweet tooth remains unsatisfied.

What does your email address say about you?

2009-09-16T11:18:00.000-07:00

Although my gf has not been a teenager for nearly a decade she only recently upgraded to an "adult" email account. You know what I'm talking about, right? Everyone is guilty of it...that first ever email address you created. If you are female and Asian I'm 99% certain that your address contained at least one of the following words: angel, baby, sweetie, lil, or cutie. If you really put some thought into the creative process you probably ended up with something like xLiLcuTeAnGeLx@aol.com. Well my gf was definitely part of the rule, not the exception on this one. Fortunately, after much prodding from myself and some friends, she agreed to join the rest of the world and signed up for a gmail account with a mature sounding address in the format of doe.jane@gmail.com. It's a step forward, but I have a feeling that getting her to act her age will be a lot more difficult.

Hiatus

2009-09-14T13:18:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed the lull of recent blog entries. Could it be that my gf has transformed into the perfect girlfriend thus giving me no funny material to write about? Is it possible that she stopped berating me to do the laundry, wash the dishes, or walk the dog? Am I the king of my domain, laying on the couch, feet elevated on the coffee table with remote in one hand and a cold beer in the other? If you hesitated in your answer then you obviously don't know my gf. She recently returned from Europe, so I'm sure there will be plenty of reading material on this page in the near future. In the interim, enjoy the break as I certainly will.

Dog Training/Boyfriend Training

2009-09-03T07:35:00.000-07:00

The other day we hired a bark busters dog trainer to teach us how to train our chihuahua, Bambi. The gist of the 2 hour/$200 session was that we need to correct Bambi whenever he misbehaves. The trainer explained that when Bambi barks or doesn't obey a command we should say "BAHH!!" in a low, firm voice. On the other hand, if Bambi complies then we should praise him by saying "good boy" in a sweet, gentle tone. I know, I know...you're thinking you could have learned the same thing from watching 1 episode of the Dog Wisperer. Anyway, my gf decides to apply the same training techniques on me as if it's compatible with boyfriends. So now I get a BAHH!! whenever I leave clothes on the floor or don't wash the dishes. Woof?

I'm the weatherman

2009-09-01T13:02:00.000-07:00

Every morning when my gf awakes from her deep, drool filled slumber she'll turn to me and ask "What's the weather today?" While it's true I usually do have an idea of the temperature, my answer never seems to suffice, which leaves me wondering, why ask in the 1st place then? Given my lack of meteorology training, I'll answer to the best of my ability which consist of the general responses of hot, warm, chilly, or cold. To which my sweet, never annoying gf will reply "How hot or how cold?" She assumes I know the exact temperature the instant I wake up as if I were Al Roker doing the weather on the Today show. I guess this would be the response she expects; sweetie, today's high will reach 76 degrees with a 60% chance of thunderstorms. An area of low pressure is moving across the coast so expect an inch of precipiatation starting around 7pm tonight. Have a great day at work.
Here's the kicker, when I look up the weather and tell her the temperature, she'll ask "what's that in celcius?"

de·ceive: to give a false impression

2009-08-31T10:00:00.000-07:00

For our 1st date I had planned to take her to dinner at a Japanese restaurant. I figured the customary dinner date route would be the best approach to get to know one another. On the day of our date, she offered the idea of going running in central park prior to dinner. I was a bit taken aback by the suggestion of such an unusual 1st date activity, but being a semi-avid runner I was quite enthused. I conjured up images of those good looking, athletic couples that you always see running together. I thought to myself, that could be us! The run goes well as does dinner and our 1st date turns into our 2nd and 3rd...and things progress nicely except for one thing. You guessed it..the idea of going running together never became a mainstay of our relationship. I guess that's what anniversaries are for.

Sweetie, see you in central park...next year.

Oh, I didn't tell you?

2009-08-31T07:23:00.000-07:00

me: Sweetie, I'm playing golf with my mom tomorrow. I'm so excited!
gf: You can't! We're going to my uncle's wife's brother's daughter's sweet 16 party in NJ.
me: Huh?! What?! Why didn't you tell me earlier???
gf: Oh, I didn't tell you? Oops, keke
me: Seriously?? Whose birthday? I don't want to go.
gf: You have to. We need you to drive.

It's true everyone is good at something. I guess my forte is driving/parallel parking.

Whose fault is it anyway?

2009-08-27T08:55:00.000-07:00

Email from my gf:
Honey, I left my cellphone at home. Why didn't you put my cellphone in my purse this morning??? I hate you : P

Pinkberry is dangerous

2009-08-26T11:08:00.001-07:00

For the majority of 2008 my gf had a seriously pinkberry addiction. The need for a frozen yogurt fix could occur at anytime, whether it was after a 5 course meal or prior to eating breakfast. So one day she was jonesing for some pinkberry aka crackberry so we make our way to the nearby pinkberry, conveniently located 5 blocks away. She orders a medium original (the best flavor in my opinion) with diced strawberries, mangoes, and captain crunch. We make our way home eating and walking simultaneously. Unfortunately, unlike most new yorkers, eating and walking at the same time is a skill that my gf has not yet mastered. We make it 4 blocks before she crashes into a horizontal scaffolding bar all because she was too focused on devouring her frozen yogurt treat. I guess pinkberry is a dish best served while seated.

Not so lucky

2009-08-26T07:03:00.000-07:00

We run out the door and scurry to the nearest lotto retailer to purchase our tickets for the $252,000,000 mega jackpot. The clerk looks at us quizzically and asks us our age, not quite sure if we are older than 18 yrs old, lol. We buy 20 quick picks and then jog back home, all the while pondering what we would buy if we won; A loft in Paris, a house in Australia, vacations in Asia...We arrive home, throw our sweaty running clothes in the wash, quickly shower and get ready to leave for dinner reservations. On the drive to the restaurant she realizes she might have left the $20 worth of lotto tickets in her running shorts, which were swirling around in the washing machine. Alas, our potential claim to $252 million became a worthless lump of wet pulp. Some people just shouldn't play the lotto.